


Lightning and Mallorca

by Little_Cello



Series: Complaints [1]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Meta, Mostly Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Cello/pseuds/Little_Cello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys have something to complain about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightning and Mallorca

**Author's Note:**

> Complete meta!crack, inspired by the whump!bingo going on at [ Lifein1973](http://lifein1973.livejournal.com/), and written up within a few minutes. Will continue as more whump!fic gets posted, I promise. xD
> 
> May or may not also regularly contain slight references to other shows John Simm and Philip Glenister have taken part in.

“For God's sake – struck by lightning?!”

 

“Points for creativity.”

 

“I'll be feelin' that one for weeks! Soon as all those mysterious injuries and the bloody cold from that other one wear off...”

 

“Could be worse. Like 'avin' your 'and cut off.”

 

“It was _nearly_ cut, and you survived, and you were molly-coddled by Phyllis _and_ me. Whereas I...”

 

“Oi, I _did_ take care of you!”

 

“Yes, exactly.”

 

“If you're tryin' to say somethin', Tyler, say out out loud!”

 

“What I'm tryin' to say is that I don't even bloody _know_ what's goin' on in most of those, and it bloody hurts! 'sides, people seem especially gleeful over killin' me off!”

 

“Would you stop your whinging, it wasn't you that was shot dead – _twice_ this bloody week, for God's sake!”

 

“At least that was a short and painless death though!”

 

“Why you –“

 

“Hang on, hang on what's... oh. Oh my god.”

 

“What? Spit it out, what's it now - … what the bloody 'ell's that even supposed to mean?”

 

“Look at the titles.”

 

“... you don't mean.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Jesus Christ.”

 

“ _Yes._ ”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“... what say we take some time off?”

 

“Where would we go?”

 

“Mallorca sounds like a nice place. Nice an' far away, like.”

 

“I have a bad feeling about this...”

 

“It's either that or _this_ , Tyler.”

 

“Ugh...”


End file.
